Jun 14
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Secrets & Places
I am staying in my parents’ house. The house is in limbo, no longer their home but kept exactly as if they might return at any moment, though they they never will. Like a dreamy puppet, I walk up the stairs focusing on each step, the bend in my legs, the extension to climb, my spine, my doing this coming from a need to feel right here right now as the end of their life rears closer Read more
Jun 8
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Routines & the Moment
Most of us want a regular, dependable, effortless movement practice that will deliver fitness, and feelings of goodness and realness. We also want to be in the Moment. If we head down the delusional lane of finding a nice comfy routine, the Moment will never happen. The Moment–that elusive jewel beyond price–is not routine. Read more
May 31
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Words vs. Experience
Language inhibits our experience, a strong claim that I gleaned from a terrific Radiolab piece—’Unravelling Bolero’—about how Ravel’s ‘Bolero’, with its incessant repetitive theme, was a signpost of the beginning of a disease that over the next six years robbed the composer of his ability to speak, to recognize objects reliably, and other memory losses. Read more
May 23
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Ravenrock Update May 2013
While I wiled away my hours on the East Coast this winter, Si Avila and Will Martinez have been steadily working up at Ravenrock. It was a fantastic surprise to arrive and see all the progress. A dance floor!!! A fantastic dance floor. And more. Here are a few pictures ~ Read more
Losing & Powerlessness
I look out at Hermits Peak in New Mexico glowing fantastically in early day light. I let my eyes relax. My natural gaze, not reaching or glazing, just my eyes relaxing on this vision, leaning my visual capacity against the beauty. The wind swirls around me, sweet with the rain that tamped down the dust yesterday. Having the morning quiet to feel my eyes look and see, because so often they scan what is there and trigger it into what isn’t there, or take a shard of something– a table edge or a pine tree, for instance — and turn it into another tree from another time, mixing the two trees into one tree rather than just seeing what is right there Read more
Extreme Self-Soothers
I’m heading west today, to the mesa, to my distant land where I work on the project of solitude. I almost can’t believe how much non-solitude my recent weeks have been. I’ve rarely been alone. My mother was terrified of being alone, of being quiet. I sat with her day after day, responding to her repetitions which came in spurts, breaking any train of thought I might be able to develop. This was the difficult part of her dementia for me. I never could find a stretch of time alone. Read more
